I'm Just Sayin' Show

The Wine Flu.

Foreigner (w accent): You keep coughing are you okay?
Lady: Ugh I think I am sick but I think it 's allergies
Foreigner: That doesn't sound like allergies I think it's the wine flu
Lady: Swine flu?
Foreigner: Yes Wine Flu.
Lady: It's Swine flu not wine flu... if it was wine flu I'd have had it a long time ago.

Allergies + Cramps + Sore Throat + Drama =Claritin + Advil+ Theraflu + Sauvignon Blanc Cocktail!

On the couch watching Millionaire Match Maker
Boy: Why do you watch this shit?
Girl: I don't know it's entertaining
Boy: This is why you are so crazy you watch all this shit! This one and one tree hill?! I don't get it?!
Girl: Well One tree hill is slightly realistic, Peyton might die!
Boy: OMG! Seriously you are insane! (grabs remote)
Girl: (grabs remote back) LOOOOOK! I can sit and wax philosophical allll day with you about how the world is going to hell, the human condition, the state of the war and the latest Obama speech but sometimes I like to come home, sit on the couch, and watch Patty Stanger rips some guy a new asshole!
Boy: Ugh I'm going to need a beer.

(bubbly blonde butterface launches into story about a bad date and then leaves for the bathroom)
Boy 1: I would fuck her
Boy 2: hahaha
Boy 1: I would fuck her but I wouldn't tell anyone I fucked her.
Other Girl: Seriously? Fuck. I wonder if guys have ever said that about me.
Boy 1: Noooo I would fuck you and tell everyone but I don't know if I'd date you.
Other Girl: Ugh I feel so much better.

who says advertising is dead?
posted by alisa